Men
of the world, we know that deep down underneath that muscular, manly-man
exterior, you are a soft little boy who just wants to build forts out of
pillows and watch superhero movies in your underwear.
Sometimes
you’re really annoying and clueless, but other times, you do these adorable
things that us ladies find both strange and precious. In fact, some of the more
adorable things about you are also simultaneously some of the weirdest.
We
also know that you hate being called adorable, but we love you for that,
too.
Here
are some of the strange things you do that we can’t help but find endearing:
1. When you’re kind of socially awkward
I
don’t care what any magazine says: If you ask to kiss me and stumble a little
bit on your words, I will not only find it insanely cute, but you
will definitely be able to kiss me.
Please
don’t worry about being suave when asking us for your phone number; we don’t
need you to be like Mr. Big or Casanova when hitting on us. You snatching our
hands, looking us in the eyes and nervously uttering some huge line like, “So,
I think you’re, uh, really cool, and maybe we can, you know, hang out
sometime?” is the key to our hearts.
2. When you zone out while staring at us
On
the spectrum of dorky and cute, this leans way more towards cute. Sometimes you
do this thing where you zone out completely while you’re staring at us, to the
point where you don’t even notice that we noticed you looking.
After
it takes a second for you to bounce back, we can’t help but laugh at you. That
was precious. Do it again.
3. When you accidentally drop a really impressive fact
Intelligence
is undoubtedly sexy, but when it leaks out of your pores in a (seemingly)
accidental moment, we are sold. We hate pretentiousness, but what we don’t hate
is you giving us a little lesson about some awesome historical moment or recent
scientific discovery we hadn’t known about before.
Plus,
if you are casual about your fact dropping (emphasis on “we hate
pretentiousness,” dudes), it just makes you way sexier.
4. When you geek out over things
Am
I the only person who finds it absolutely adorable when a guy obsesses over
something, especially if the thing he is obsessing over is kind of weird? It
shows he has passion and is unapologetically himself, and that is something I
can’t get enough of.
It’s
even cuter when you rant to us about it for a little bit and let us ask you
questions about it. In fact, we enjoy fueling this fire of adorableness as much
as possible by asking you to tell us that detail about which we can sense you
really want to geek over, but feel too shy to do so.
The
way your eyes light up when you talk about what you love is undoubtedly the
best thing in the world. So what happens next in that Green Lantern comic
book?! Does he die?
5. When you are holding a baby
This
is the greatest thing ever because, as per the patriarchy and male and female
stereotypes, it’s a slightly unnatural sight. Nothing makes our heads scream,
“I want to have your babies!” like seeing you hold a baby.
When
a small child is cradled in your large man hands, we just freak out. In the
least creepy and obsessive way (we promise!), we kind of imagine the type of
dad you’d be, and that makes our little biological insides want you really bad
— really, really bad.
6. When you flex in a picture “by accident”
We’re
not stupid, guys: We can tell when you’re flexing, even if it’s subtle.
But it’s pretty damn cute when you try to pretend like we don’t notice. We may
even jokingly comment about how “buff” you are, which will probably make you
flex even more.
It’s
actually cute when you make any slightly obvious attempt to impress us in
general. The more obvious it is that you’re trying really hard, the more
adorable. That’s the mantra. Keep it up, boys.
7. Your bromances
Nothing
is cuter than a guy who has a best friend and is unashamed to tell the world
about it, especially if he’s been friends with the same guy(s) since childhood.
Usually it’s girls who obsess over their BFFs, but if a boy does it, it’s
adorable and it makes us want to get to know the friends better.
It’s
especially precious when your best friend makes fun of you in a way that I may
not understand because it’s usually followed by an embarrassing story about you
from your grade school days, which is fantastic and just makes you even more
precious.
8. When you grow a 5 o’clock shadow to hide your baby face
We
know you’re insecure about the fact that you think your cheeks are a little
puffy and your skin is a little soft, so we find it so cute when you try to
hide everything with facial hair.
We
know you just want to appear tough, manly and intimidating, and while we’ll let
you have that, we’ll also poke fun at how your beard looks. Because, you know,
if your face is that infantile, your beard probably looks misplaced. Just
kidding!
9. When you can’t dance or sing, but try anyway
You
know that guy at the party who’s hanging out in the corner and moving slightly
out-of-tempo to the song blasting from the speakers? He’s teetering on the line
between being confident and wanting to run out of the room, but he manages to
stay anyway.
He’s
really trying, and it’s adorable. I mean, sure, my ovaries won’t object to a
guy who can actually dance, but it gets exhausting keeping up with someone with
that much rhythm. I’ll have more fun making fun of you.
10. When your humor is extremely deadpan
If
your humor has the perfect amount of dryness and deadpan-ness, you will go far.
Give us a good one-liner — maybe mumble it to yourself a little bit — and we’re
sold. While we love a good corny joke, we love jokes that we would miss if we
weren’t listening carefully enough even more.
Basically,
if we can’t tell whether you’re trying to be funny or actually making fun of
us, you’ve succeeded.
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