How Social Media Are Ruining Your Love Life

At the beginning of a potential new romance, both parties usually make an attempt to put their best foot forward. In an effort to dazzle your dinner date, you usually focus on your dreams of a family, how witty you can be and your excellent taste in music. This would all be well and good if blossoming relationships existed inside a vacuum, but in this era of drunken status updates, unwanted photo tags and check-ins at the trashy bar that you claim not to frequent, your best foot forward might be covered in social-media shit.

Admit it: If you didn't already Facebook-stalk the man you've made Friday-night plans with, you most definitely will after the date. The updates that your new man posts, the photos that he takes and the status updates that he "likes" have become just as important as the words that come out of his mouth on the date. At dinner you may even sporadically pull up an app on your iPhone to illustrate the story you're telling or provide a visual of your best friend who is just too fabulous for words to describe. On their face, social media may seem like just another tool to get to know a person, but in reality, applications like Facebook and Instagram portray a distorted, disjointed and altogether imaginary version of the people we are.

There are many social-media offenses that can lead your senses astray when evaluating a potential mate. Maybe your new man has perfected the art of portraying himself as a lover of travel or has multiple pictures of himself carrying the cutest kids you've ever seen on his shoulders. It would be hard for anyone not to fall in love with this catalog husband on your computer screen. So before you even sit down to dinner, visions of your perfect children and your exotic honeymoon to Bora Bora are already swimming around your brain. The problem with falling in love with someone's two-dimensional Facebook profile is that you never know what lies beyond that sparkling smile in front of the Taj Mahal. After all, his photos might just be the most exciting thing about him. And why is he always traveling by himself?

Then there are those rare occasions where you meet someone through that archaic medium for interaction: in person. He is charming and makes you laugh, and you leave him excited to learn more. But you just can't wait until he returns from his work trip, so you decide to perform a harmless little Internet search on him, and like many attractive guys, he's just not very photogenic. All of a sudden you are questioning the real connection you had with him because you are having trouble picturing your wedding photos. Or maybe his status updates leave a little to be desired. Forget being witty in person; his interests utterly bore you. So even though your first impression of him was solid, your little date with his social-media presence leaves you second-guessing your connection. Suddenly you aren't so sure whether you will accept the dinner invitation.

These are just a couple of the numerous ways that social media can thwart would-be relationships. And needless to say, online profiles, new "friends" and unwanted notifications can also cause unnecessary problems once a relationship has begun. We have all been guilty of going through our current flavor du jour's photos only to see old pictures of his former flame. Suddenly you have burbling feelings of jealousy all because of some stale images from long ago. You are his present, but social media have you living in the past.

The truth is that the content and character of a possible love should be revealed in layers. The development of a fruitful relationship takes effort, and it is impossible to reach a level of depth with a person by meticulously parsing his Facebook self.

The CliffsNotes of a person's life will never give you an accurate representation of the reality. We create the image that we want to convey through our activity on social media. It's much easier to convey the "reality" that we want to portray on the Internet than to live it in real life. My own Facebook profile portrays a character; the real me is much more complex. It would be easy to choose a boyfriend or future husband based on information from his social-media presence, but the longevity of a relationship resulting from such matchmaking techniques would probably be about equal to your iPhone's battery life.

Sure, social media can provide supplemental reading when studying a person's qualifications as a potential plus-one, but you are wasting your time if you use things like Facebook and Instagram to learn about the content required to answer all the right questions.

When it comes to dating and mating, sometimes it helps to unplug in order to connect.

Follow Tyler Curry on Twitter: www.twitter.com/iamtylercurry
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8 Things That Gay Men Need to Stop Saying

I love gay men. I love to sleep with gay men. I love to hang out with gay men. I love to be a gay man. But for a group of people who are, for the most part, extremely intelligent, we say a lot of stupid things, some of which make no sense at all. Below are eight things that gay men say frequently (hell, even I say some of these things occasionally!) but need to stop saying immediately. The next time you hear one of the following sentences come out of your mouth, stop and think about what you just said and whether or not it makes sense. Or don't. I mean, live your life. YOLO. It's only a suggestion. Just remember that we really are smarter than we sometimes sound.

"I'm straight-acting."

Most of the straight men I know don't like other men's penises in or near them at any point in the day, or ever, for that matter. I understand if you're a gay man who likes sports, but in no way does that make you straight-acting, because you like dick, and straight men do not.

"Have you switched teams yet?"

We strive to teach others that our homosexuality was not a choice, so why do we feel the need to ask our hot straight friends if they've "switched teams yet"? Although we always welcome hot new arrivals to the gay club, we know that it wasn't a choice for any of us. Asking straight people if they've decided to be gay yet just sets us all back a few decades.

"This is giving me life!"

We gay men have a flair for the dramatic. (Face it: We do. It's OK to admit it. I mean, what would musical theater be without us?) But some of the dramatic sayings we've adopted are just plain silly, like saying, "This [insert noun here] is giving me life!" How can a scarf give you life unless you're literally freezing? How can a plate of egg white omelets give you life unless you're literally starving? I'm pretty sure that the only thing that gave you life was your mother, and if you're too busy saying that everything else in the world is giving you life, you most likely owe her a phone call.

"Do you want to sleep with other people?"

If your relationship isn't working, how about asking, "Do you want to break up?" I've met maybe one straight person who's ever posed this question to a partner, but for whatever reason, it's commonplace in gay relationships. When things get bad, instead of breaking up or working things out in therapy (do people still do that?), gay men always raise this question. If you really love your partner, this should never be asked.

"You're so pretty for a lesbian."

Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie and Drew Barrymore have all confessed to either dating women or canoodling with them at one point or another. We gay men don't like being called "sissy fairies," and I'm pretty sure our female counterparts don't like being bullied about their looks. I mean, the mom from Family Ties is a lesbian. Translation: Lesbians are awesome and all somehow know Michael J. Fox.

"This is everything!"

"This coat is everything!" "This bag is everything!" "These scallops are everything!" Well, ifeverything is everything, which seems to be the case, then everything is essentially nothing. So the next time you walk down the street and, in one breath, mention how a homeless woman, a man's red blazer at Macy's, a pile of old newspapers, the Virgin Mary, the Broadway musical Pippin, the random member of Destiny's Child who was only around for the "Jumpin' Jumpin'" video, Wyoming Gov. Matt Mead and Trading Spaces' Paige Davis are "everything," really think about what the word "everything" means. It means "all that exists," so more than one thing cannot technically be everything.

Calling each other "girl."

Gay men are men, not women. When using the word "girls," one should be referring to either young females or that moderately funny TV show that features Lena Dunham's breasts every 15 seconds and that kind-of-hot NBC Nightly News anchor's daughter, not other gay men.

"You are living!"

I have to laugh when gay men say things like, "You are living in that tank top!" or, "You are living in those new Prada loafers!" Of course I'm living. If I weren't living, I would be dead and most likely not in a tank top (and that would be sad, because I love tank tops). I'm not exactly sure how a tank top or a pair of loafers factors into whether or not I am still breathing. That's because this saying, just like the other seven, make absolutely no sense at all.

All right, men, let's make a conscious effort to omit these sayings from our everyday lives. Or don't. It's only a suggestion. I mean, YOLO, right?

Source:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-brennan-rosenberg/8-things-that-gay-men-need-to-stop-saying_b_4260923.html

The New Grindr: Tribes, Filters, Enhanced Chat & More

Grindr, the most popular location based gay “dating” app, has just released a new update with several new features aimed at making it a faster and more engaging experience for the seven million-plus users around the globe. The update features a sleek new design (included a slightly different take on the logo), an optimized user interface and many other features that allow users to narrow down their search for Mr. Right (…or Mr. Right now).

“We rewrote the software for the new Grindr with a focus on speed – giving our users the ability to meet other guys in mere minutes. We did that by strengthening the app’s reliability and performance, and by introducing ‘Tribes‘ and other filters to make it even simpler for men to identify themselves and find exactly what they’re looking for,” said Joel Simkhai, founder and CEO of Grindr. “Get ready for a whole new level of user personalization, speed and convenience to the Grindr experience, along with many added capabilities for Grindr Xtra users – all in a new sleek design.”

Do you know how many chat messages were sent on Grindr in the last month? One billion! They also exchanged one billion photos and logged in one billion times in a two month time span. Check out the specifics on the new features below and if you’re a Grindr user yourself, share your thoughts on the latest update in the comments.

New Grindr features include:

• Powered by all-new software for enhanced speed and performance, the new Grindr has a sleek design that includes updates to its logo and profile.
• With the new Grindr Tribes, users can identify themselves with a niche group and filter their search to help find their type of guy. Grindr Tribes include: Bear, Clean-cut, Daddy, Discreet, Geek, Jock, Leather, Otter, Poz, Rugged, Trans and Twink.
• Grindr users can filter by Age, Looking For, and Tribes.
• A new Chats inbox feature enables users to see all their past conversations; view chats from Favorites; and delete individual lines of text from a chat screen.
• Grindr users can see profiles, location and last-online data update of other Grindr guys. And, the Grindr cascade screen features larger thumbnails and users can automatically Load More Guys as they scroll.
• Grindr users can show off their Grindr Tribe, Looking For and Body Type in their Profile, along with the ability to link to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and increased About Me and Display Name character limits.
• And the new Grindr supports the iPhone 5, 5C and 5S screen size.

Features for the new Grindr Xtra, the premium subscription version of Grindr, include:

• All of the above, plus…
• Grindr Xtra users get unlimited filters: Photos Only, Height, Weight, Age, Body Type, Ethnicity, Looking For, Relationship Status and Grindr Tribes. (Grindr users get three filter options.)
• With Tribes, Grindr Xtra users will be able to choose up to three Grindr Tribe affiliations. (Grindr users get one.)
• Grindr Xtra users can effortlessly send more saved photos from “My Photos” and phrases from “Saved Phrases”; quickly send multiple photos previously sent to other users; and add new “Saved Phrases” from within chats.
• Grindr Xtra users will have an enhanced swipe navigation that allows them to quickly switch between both profiles and chats.
• Grindr Xtra users can view 300 guys – that’s 200 more than Grindr.
• Grindr Xtra users can favorite (and block) an unlimited number of Grindr guys, and have the ability to view favorites who are online at any given moment.
• With the Online Only button, Grindr Xtra users can quickly find the guys who are online and ready to chat right now.
• And Grindr Xtra has no banner advertising.

Read more at: http://www.homorazzi.com/article/new-grindr-update-features-tribes-filters-xtra/#ixzz2ghq7Vh4c

13 of the world's most inspiring gay monuments

From Holocaust victims to heroes of equality, these moving monuments commemorate the darkest days of LGBT history and the legacy they left behind

01 OCTOBER 2013 | BY LIAM JOHNSON

Their lives were triumphant, their deaths were tragic and all too often left no trace, but some countries have chosen to honor the gay, lesbian and transgender heroes history tried to forget.

Gay Star News remembers the LGBT individuals who suffered, struggled and died for the rights and freedoms we enjoy today.

All over the world, monuments honoring the LGBT community have been erected in parks and public spaces where people of all ages can visit and learn about some people who were persecuted because of who they loved.

Matthew Shepard bench, University of Wyoming, USA

In 1998 gay student Mathew Shepard was killed by two men in a homophobic hate crime. The news of his death, including the brutal way in which he was lured away and tortured by two men at the age of 21, sparked international outrage. His death played an important part in US government's recognition of gay hate crimes with the creation of the Matthew Shepard Act, which made it illegal to discriminate based on sexual orientation. A park bench is dedicated to his memory and life that was cut short. The plaque reads: ‘Beloved son, brother and friend. He continues to make a difference. Peace be with him and all who sit here.’

Pink Triangle, Sitges, Spain

The small Catalan town of Sitges is one of the most popular destinations for gay travelers in Europe. A pink triangle on the seafront was erected in 2006 to commemorate the ten year anniversary of 1996 uprisings in the town. Police wanted to patrol the beaches that have long been used as a meeting place for gay men, but the town gathered together to protests this challenge to their freedom. The inscription under the triangle reads: ‘Sitges against homophobia. Never again.’

Homomonument, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Opened in 1987 this monument is dedicated to all gays and lesbians subjected to persecution because of their sexuality during the Nazi regime. The monument takes the pink triangle, a badge that gay prisoners were forced to wear, and transforms it into a symbol of triumph and celebration of these lives. Three pink triangles come together to form a larger triangle. Inscribed on the ground are poignant words from a poem by gay Jewish poet Jacob Israël de Haan: ‘Such an endless desire for friendship.’

Memorial to Homosexuals persecuted under Nazism, Berlin, Germany

This memorial is a concrete cube that bears a small window where visitors can see a video of a couple kissing. The kiss represents the act of love that could have landed people in serious trouble, and the tomb-like cube represents the certain death gay offenders would face. Next to the memorial is a signboard where visitors can read about the persecution that gays and lesbians suffered under Nazi rule.

Wizard of Oz Rainbow, Sony Studios, California, USA

Not dedicated to anyone in particular but definitely more than a little bit gay. The rainbow arches over the trees and rooftops of the studios where The Wizard of Oz was filmed. The tale of Dorothy’s quest to find her way back home has struck a chord with gay audiences ever since its release in 1939.

Gay and Lesbian Holocaust Memorial, Sydney, Australia

This memorial is a specific tribute to gays and lesbians who lost their lives during the holocaust. The pink triangular prism represents gay men, while a second black triangle of steel columns represents lesbian women. The two triangles intersect each other to form a fractured Star of David. At night the memorial glows and invites visitors to contemplate the message of the monument.

Gay liberation statues, New York, USA

Four statues: two men and two women sit together on the benches in Christopher Park in downtown New York. The area is also home to the Stonewall Inn, regarded by many as the birthplace of the gay liberation movement with the Stonewall riots in 1969. The white figures, which appear to be in carefree conversation, are a nod to the sense of public ease that the liberation movement aspired to achieve.

Alan Turing memorial, Manchester, UK

Alan Turing, known as the father of computer science, is remembered with this peaceful statue of him sitting on a park bench. A plaque explains that he was not only a great mathematician and scientist but also a ‘victim of prejudice’. Turing holds a half-eaten apple because it is thought that he killed himself by taking a bite out of a cyanide-laden apple after started taking female hormones as an alternative to being sent to prison.

Pink Triangle Park, San Francisco, California

Many would say the city of San Francisco itself is a memorial to LGBT life. The US city is home to the gay Castro district and late politician Harvey Milk. This memorial remembers lives lost in the struggle for gay equality. The 15 granite pylons represent the estimated 15,000 gays and lesbians that were killed during the holocaust. Each one is inlaid with a small pink triangle, a reminder that it was these badges that sent so many people to their death.

LGBT memorial, Barcelona, Spain

Opened in 2011 this is one of the most recent gay monuments. This memorial makes its home in one of the biggest and most picturesque parks in Barcelona, the Parc de la Cuitadella. The granite triangle framed in pink remembers all LGBT people who have suffered throughout the years. Barcelona’s recognition of its gay past and present establishes the city as one of the most popular gay destinations in the world.

Angel statue, Frankfurt, Germany

The figure of an angel is not only a somber memory to gays and lesbians who were persecuted in Germany but a reminder that no such thing should happen again. The angel, with clipped wings and downcast expression, stands on a plinth with a message to visitors. The inscription reads: ‘Homosexual men and women were persecuted and murdered during National Socialism. The crimes were denied, the murders hidden, the survivors judged and despised. This we wish to call to mind, knowing that men who love men and women who love women could be persecuted again at any time.'

Emmeline Pankhurst statue, London, UK

Emmeline Pankhurt was a British woman who spearheaded the British suffrage movement. She has become an emblem for woman to campaign for equal rights and also for those who want to fight injustice and inequality. Her diaries contain several accounts of her romantic relationships with women who shared her passion for women’s rights. Her statue stands close to the Houses of Parliament, a reference to the political views that moulded her life.

Kiss Wall, Brighton, UK

The kiss wall on Brighton seafront shows six couples of different genders and ages frozen in a kiss. The wall celebrates the city of Brighton – famous for being one of the most accepting and gay-friendly places in the UK.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/13-worlds-most-inspiring-gay-monuments011013#sthash.mCTDLzFe.dpuf