Handy Facts About Male Masturbation

10 Subtle, Weirdly Adorable Things Men Do That Women Can’t Get Enough Of

Men of the world, we know that deep down underneath that muscular, manly-man exterior, you are a soft little boy who just wants to build forts out of pillows and watch superhero movies in your underwear.

Sometimes you’re really annoying and clueless, but other times, you do these adorable things that us ladies find both strange and precious. In fact, some of the more adorable things about you are also simultaneously some of the weirdest.

We also know that you hate being called adorable, but we love you for that, too.

Here are some of the strange things you do that we can’t help but find endearing:

1. When you’re kind of socially awkward

I don’t care what any magazine says: If you ask to kiss me and stumble a little bit on your words, I will not only find it insanely cute, but you will definitely be able to kiss me.

Please don’t worry about being suave when asking us for your phone number; we don’t need you to be like Mr. Big or Casanova when hitting on us. You snatching our hands, looking us in the eyes and nervously uttering some huge line like, “So, I think you’re, uh, really cool, and maybe we can, you know, hang out sometime?” is the key to our hearts.

---

2. When you zone out while staring at us

On the spectrum of dorky and cute, this leans way more towards cute. Sometimes you do this thing where you zone out completely while you’re staring at us, to the point where you don’t even notice that we noticed you looking.

After it takes a second for you to bounce back, we can’t help but laugh at you. That was precious. Do it again.

---

3. When you accidentally drop a really impressive fact

Intelligence is undoubtedly sexy, but when it leaks out of your pores in a (seemingly) accidental moment, we are sold. We hate pretentiousness, but what we don’t hate is you giving us a little lesson about some awesome historical moment or recent scientific discovery we hadn’t known about before.

Plus, if you are casual about your fact dropping (emphasis on “we hate pretentiousness,” dudes), it just makes you way sexier.

---

4. When you geek out over things

Am I the only person who finds it absolutely adorable when a guy obsesses over something, especially if the thing he is obsessing over is kind of weird? It shows he has passion and is unapologetically himself, and that is something I can’t get enough of.

It’s even cuter when you rant to us about it for a little bit and let us ask you questions about it. In fact, we enjoy fueling this fire of adorableness as much as possible by asking you to tell us that detail about which we can sense you really want to geek over, but feel too shy to do so.

The way your eyes light up when you talk about what you love is undoubtedly the best thing in the world. So what happens next in that Green Lantern comic book?! Does he die?

---

5. When you are holding a baby

This is the greatest thing ever because, as per the patriarchy and male and female stereotypes, it’s a slightly unnatural sight. Nothing makes our heads scream, “I want to have your babies!” like seeing you hold a baby.

When a small child is cradled in your large man hands, we just freak out. In the least creepy and obsessive way (we promise!), we kind of imagine the type of dad you’d be, and that makes our little biological insides want you really bad — really, really bad.

---

6. When you flex in a picture “by accident”

We’re not stupid, guys: We can tell when you’re flexing, even if it’s subtle. But it’s pretty damn cute when you try to pretend like we don’t notice. We may even jokingly comment about how “buff” you are, which will probably make you flex even more.

It’s actually cute when you make any slightly obvious attempt to impress us in general. The more obvious it is that you’re trying really hard, the more adorable. That’s the mantra. Keep it up, boys.

---

7. Your bromances

Nothing is cuter than a guy who has a best friend and is unashamed to tell the world about it, especially if he’s been friends with the same guy(s) since childhood. Usually it’s girls who obsess over their BFFs, but if a boy does it, it’s adorable and it makes us want to get to know the friends better.

It’s especially precious when your best friend makes fun of you in a way that I may not understand because it’s usually followed by an embarrassing story about you from your grade school days, which is fantastic and just makes you even more precious.

---

8. When you grow a 5 o’clock shadow to hide your baby face

We know you’re insecure about the fact that you think your cheeks are a little puffy and your skin is a little soft, so we find it so cute when you try to hide everything with facial hair.

We know you just want to appear tough, manly and intimidating, and while we’ll let you have that, we’ll also poke fun at how your beard looks. Because, you know, if your face is that infantile, your beard probably looks misplaced. Just kidding!

---

9. When you can’t dance or sing, but try anyway

You know that guy at the party who’s hanging out in the corner and moving slightly out-of-tempo to the song blasting from the speakers? He’s teetering on the line between being confident and wanting to run out of the room, but he manages to stay anyway.

He’s really trying, and it’s adorable. I mean, sure, my ovaries won’t object to a guy who can actually dance, but it gets exhausting keeping up with someone with that much rhythm. I’ll have more fun making fun of you.

---

10. When your humor is extremely deadpan

If your humor has the perfect amount of dryness and deadpan-ness, you will go far. Give us a good one-liner — maybe mumble it to yourself a little bit — and we’re sold. While we love a good corny joke, we love jokes that we would miss if we weren’t listening carefully enough even more.

Basically, if we can’t tell whether you’re trying to be funny or actually making fun of us, you’ve succeeded.

SOURCE

Hallmark Releases First-Ever Gay Father’s Day Card

Hallmark’s doing a lovely job of celebrating Pride Month: in addition to releasing some cute rainbowy animations, they just put out their first-ever two-dad Father’s Day card.

They’re the work of Kylie Wu, who writes, “I’m so proud to be the artist involved in making the first ever same-sex Hallmark eCard featuring two gay dads. And I’m proud of Hallmark for celebrating people’s differences! It doesn’t matter who’s in it, LOVE makes a family.”

It’s been a long time coming. Hallmark only started offering wedding cards for gay couples in 2008 (!) and was the target of a petition last year. Kristiana Johnson set up a Change.org petition, asking the company to provide Mother’s Day and Father’s Day cards for folks who were raised by LGBT parents.

At the time, Hallmark said they didn’t have any plans to do so (!!) and that if you wanted to send a card to your gay parents, you’d just have to buy a blank card and write it yourself. (!!!)
That was the same year that President Obama invited two gay dads to the White House for a Father’s Day celebration.

But now, finally, Hallmark is getting with the times. They don’t have a physical card just yet; this is online-only. But maybe before the decade is out they’ll get around to updating their messages.
Father’s Day is this Sunday, the 16th, by the way. Don’t let it slip by without at least a call home to dad!

SOURCE: http://www.queerty.com/hallmark-releases-first-ever-gay-fathers-day-card-20140612 

The Reasons Why Gay Men Suck at Dating

The older we get in life the more pressure we have in finding a stable relationship. For single gay guys around the world, it can get personal real quick. With every passing year, more and more people begin to look at us with judgmental assumptions as to why we haven’t found a man. Certainly something must be wrong with us.

The truth of the matter is gay dating has turned into an endless competition with ourselves and the people around us. So much so that we’ve forgotten what’s important. With endless voices reminding us what we’re missing, boyfriends have become the number one accessory of the 21st century.

I’ve seen countless of gay guys obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship, yet so many of them don’t actually want it when they find it. It’s the “idea” around it which makes them feel complete, not the practice. With so many hot guys shaking their tails in the gayborhoods and on TV, it’s quite easy to get distracted the minute another enters our peripheral. Finding and settling down with a guy not only takes discipline, but a conscious decision – probably the most complex we’ll ever make. But if done right, it doesn’t seem like work at all.

Access to information has made us more picky, jealous and snoopy than ever before. But regardless of the high-tech age we’re in, we’re still plain old human beings looking for someone to connect with. Most of the time, the only person that’s preventing us from achieving what we want is us. But here are a few problems I’ve discovered in the process:

• Gay Guys Are Boys Until They Turn 30 

It’s easy to stay a boy forever when you’re a gay man. The parties never end and the drinks are constantly pouring at every corner bar in the gayborhood. Even if we’re settling nicely in the job of our dreams, turning our adversities into gold and shaping ourselves into a man of character, our “twenties” seem to last longer than anyone else’s. Most gay guys in the dating scene today don’t envision themselves getting married or having kids until they’re 30-something. For those who want it before, you’re probably out of luck so you might as well use this time for what it is.

We all have different versions of what a successful relationship is. The good news is, unlike women, there’s no need to rush into having a family. For those who feel like they do, stop fooling yourselves. You have much more time than you think – don’t look at your life on a spectrum of deadlines.

• We Refuse To Sacrifice Anything

When you decide to settle down with someone, there’s always a sacrifice to be made. Most serial monogamists are too busy focusing on landing the next man they often sacrifice their identity. For guys who’ve been single all their lives, it’s the opposite. They treasure their alone time so much that the thought of sacrificing it for someone else terrifies them.

We’re always sacrificing something in this regard, whether we’re single or in a relationship. In a way we both lose, but depending on how you look at it, we also both win. The trick is finding a person who’s worth the sacrifice. It’s not easy giving time, attention, affection, sex, commitment and responsibilities to someone else. But relationships are about compromise. Though it might seem hot and steamy in the movies, the average film is only two hours long. Compare that to a longterm relationship full of ups, downs, and turnarounds.

• We’re Too Afraid Of Feeling Vulnerable 

The dating community – online and offline – is so afraid of looking or feeling vulnerable it’s difficult to make the first move about being honest with our feelings. Because of this, it’s much harder to surpass the first step.

We’re not in junior high anymore. There’s no need to lay your head down and turn bashful when a cute guy smiles, or roll your eyes and pretend you didn’t notice. Conjure up the confidence to show the world how unserious you take yourself. We’re human beings and we relate most to people who remind us of that, not ones who constantly try to have a wall.

• We’re Unclear Of Our Intentions

A lot of us are looking for sex while the minority is looking to settle down, and we hardly find it out which one it is until we’re already emotionally invested. Because most gay men leap into sex after the first or second date, any motivation behind the actual date becomes blurred. Even if he calls or texts you the next day, there is still always a question in the back of your mind. Was I just a booty call or was it something more? We’re too afraid to ask since it might make us look needy, so we usually brush it off. If we are out in the open from the get go, we might save ourselves a lot anxiety down the road.

• We’ve Become Nomadic 

In case you haven’t noticed, the price of airfare has never been cheaper and more accessible. Since a lot of gay men, especially in their twenties, have nothing holding them down, i.e. kids, this generation has become much more goal-oriented. We want to move away, travel and achieve big dreams. Not that there’s anything wrong with the idea, but it sure does put a damper on anyone who might see a future with you. Most of the people I’ve met on the scene plan on being in the city only within the next year or so. Whenever you hear something like this, it’s easy to filter not only your emotions, but any relationship potential outside of sex. What’s wrong with staying still for a bit?

• Money Rules Our Emotional Availability 

There are so many people with debt nowadays, especially those in their twenties and thirties. It rules over us like a dark cloud and usually prevents us from making beneficial decisions, including love. If someone is packing 80 grand worth of debt they can’t afford to pay back, it’s clear they’re going to be a little closed off – whether consciously or unconsciously.

Even if they have a “real job” instead of the normal assistant level jobs a lot of us tend to carry for years, most people with debt tend to think more about paying rent than having a boyfriend who wants to go out to dinner, to the movies or even to a cheap happy hour they can’t afford. Money makes the world go round, but it also affects our psyche in more ways than we think. Either be patient or make the appropriate steps towards fixing both aspects of your life.

• Hookup Apps Are Becoming The Norm 

Whether you like it or not, it’s rare to find a gay man in their twenties or thirties who doesn’t have a naked pic floating around somewhere in the cyber waves. Most of my friends and I had our first sexual encounters via online. Today, teenagers are doing it through mobile apps like Grindr. When you’re still in the closet these types of things can be your refuge, except for most it’s become a tool that helps them stay closeted.

These teenagers will one day grow up to be 30, 40 and 50. In ten years, hookup apps will morph into God knows what. But until then, they will only become more popularized as more users join the fun, even straight people. These gadgets are here to stay whether you think so or not. The only thing we can do is to make a personal choice to beat it or join it.

SOURCE

Therapist: Gay Males’ “Unrealistic Expectations” Lead To Eating Disorders

Therapist: Gay Males’ “Unrealistic Expectations”
Lead To Eating Disorders

Have you been staring into the cardboard hollows of a few too many pints of Ben & Jerry’s lately?

According to the International Journal of Eating Disorders, there is a three times greater chance for a gay man to have a clinical eating disorder than a straight man.

What’s more, the Journal states that 15 percent of gay or bi men in the U.S. have struggled with the likes of bulimia, binge eating or anorexia, and of the total number of men suffering an eating disorder, 42 percent are gay or bi.

Linda Santangelo, a psychologist who runs an eating disorder program, has her own stats to thrown in — in her experience, gay men are seven times more likely to binge eat than straight men, and twelve times more likely to purge.

She says the reason behind it is coping. Coping with discrimination, violence or rejection in response to their sexuality. Or they may just be stressed out about coming out.

While we’re sure these cases must exist, isn’t there perhaps a more obvious explanation? Gay men are more sexually objectified than straight men — for better or worse — and couldn’t the desire to be your “perfect self” lead you down a path that ends hovering over the toilet?

Chase Bannister, a psychotherapist who specializes in eating disorders, recently told Salon:

“The gay male community has placed unrealistic expectations upon itself. Emaciation is normal. Electing not to eat or to only drink liquids for several days has become normative. Negative comments about body weight, shape, size of ourselves or others has become a daily part of our community’s common life.”

Bannister takes this argument even wider, hypothesizing that:

Gay males have over the years been named by society as having characteristics that are effeminate in nature, which are narrated by culture as weak, which as a clinician, I find misogynistic. The result of society seeing effeminate behavior as weak is to get bulked up.
So to sum up, we’re either dealing with rejection or unsafely bulking up to subconsciously try and disprove society’s preconceptions.

Could it be that we’re just trying to get laid?

Full story here via Queerty.com

It's time for the FREEDOM TO MARRY in Nevada

It’s an exciting day for Nevada, and we’re honored to be a part of it. Today, Freedom Nevada – the campaign to win the freedom to marry for same-sex couples in our state - formally launched, with events in Reno and Las Vegas.

There will be lots of work in the days and months ahead to move this important effort forward in our state. At The Center, we are committed to that work, and hope that you will join us as we stand up for freedom for all Nevada families.

If you’re ready to secure marriage for all loving couples in Nevada, click here to sign Freedom Nevada’s petition now.

Signing the petition today is a great first step towards showing that you, and a majority of Nevadans, believe all families in our state deserve the protections that only marriage can provide.

Freedom Nevada is being formed at a critical moment. Our state is preparing for a possible 2016 ballot measure and also the site of a high-profile court case on marriage.

This is a question of treating others and we would like to be treated. In Nevada, no member of anyone’s family should be told it’s illegal to marry the person they love.

But, today, thousands of loving, committed couples who call Nevada home are denied this basic freedom. These are our family members, friends and neighbors - people we know and love from our churches, schools and at work.

Here in Nevada - as in all of America - freedom means freedom for everyone, and it’s high time we made sure that loving, committed same-sex couples can share in the freedom to marry.
If you agree, sign the Freedom Nevada petition today and pledge your support for the effort to bring freedom to ALL Nevada families.

At The Center we couldn’t be prouder to stand with Freedom Nevada - and with all families in Nevada – to move marriage forward in the state we call home.

There’s lots of work ahead, thanks in advance for your help,


Robert L. Elkins, CEO

P.S. You can follow Freedom Nevada’s work on Facebook and Twitter for important updates.

The 10 Reasons Why It’s Better To Travel Alone

In one year, I went from having a naked, stampless passport to having visited three different countries. While every traveling experience has been rewarding, my most meaningful experiences transpired while traveling alone.

Although domestic travel is certainly the easiest, traveling internationally presents a greater risk with a potentially greater reward. Check out the top 10 reasons it’s important to travel alone:

1. Self-discovery
Traveling alone and outside of your comfort zone teaches you so much about yourself that you wouldn’t have otherwise learned. It requires more organization, but you’ll likely learn more about the types of activities you enjoy most.

2. Meeting new people
It can be difficult to meet new people when you’re not traveling alone, but eating and drinking alone presents an easy way to strike up a conversation with a local. While in Montréal last October, I met a guy who hitchhiked from Berkeley. He had very little money, no Internet, no television and no computer; he had just a cell phone, a record player and was living with the bare minimum. I found him to be inspiring and we still keep in touch.

3. Making — and sometimes breaking — your itinerary
While it’s important to be organized while traveling alone, sometimes deviating from your plan will lead to the most inspiring and interesting experiences. If you’re an excessive photographer, there is no one around to judge you — except for maybe the locals who shake their heads at you for being a stereotypical tourist. But, who cares? You’ll probably never see any of them again.

Skip the museums if you’re not interested. If you’d rather check out the nightlife and arts scene than historical landmarks, go for it. It’s your trip and you’re calling the shots, so take advantage.

4. Work with your budget
A downfall to traveling alone is that there is no one with whom to split bills. However, if you budget what you have and plan accordingly, you should have no problems. Travelling frugally can be quite fun; often, you’ll find hidden gems like delicious food only the locals know about.

5. Meditation and self-reflection
Experiencing things alone is good for your mind, body and soul. For yoga lovers, a mountain pose at the pinnacle of a trip while in nature is a beautiful thing. Sometimes it’s important to take advantage of the quiet, so enjoy the moment and reflect on your emotions and sentiments.

6. Independent problem solving
It’s okay to be lost as long as you’re polite and considerate when you ask for help — try to learn at least a few phrases in the native language. A little bit can go a long way, and learning not to get down on yourself leads to embracing life lessons. Stretching your budget and preventing problems before they occur, like by notifying banks of your travel plans, are effective problem solving tactics, as well.

7. Messy hair, don’t care
I have friends who spend tons of time in front of the mirror, so I usually feel obligated to put on makeup as well. Traveling with guys makes me feel bad about spending too much time on my appearance. Whether you enjoy primping or just like the option to do as you please, traveling alone is the easiest way to rock whatever look you want.

8. Nerding out
While traveling in San Diego, I found myself with not enough cash for a cab ride back to my hotel. As a result, I had a pretty long walk home, so I put ear buds in and literally skipped along the marina on my commute back. If you’re alone, you can do that unabashedly.

9. Cultural immersion
If there is a language barrier where you’re going, there is no faster way to learn a language than to immerse yourself in the culture. Without having a buddy who shares your language, your only option for verbal communication is to learn the native dialect. Being alone allows you to absorb your environment and notice the people around you — how they talk, dress and even walk.

10. The storytelling experience
You’ll create endless memories when you tell friends and stories of your travels. Because the trip was only yours, it’s a unique experience many people will love to hear about. As long as you make the most of your solo expedition, your stories will be epic accounts you’ll never get tired of telling.

Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
Source: http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/the-10-reasons-why-its-better-to-travel-alone/

Staying Authentic In An Artificial World

Published By: David Artavia |www.GayGuys.com

In a place that is so filled with fake people, it is not surprising that most aspects of the world eventually follow. It’s easy to see things in TV, at the movies, or in the magazines and get mislead into thinking that this is how you need to be as well. It’s not. In fact, the world gives much more respect to originality – that is, after all how most celebrities get famous to begin with.

There is no one else in the world like you. Be the one that gets imitated – NOT the one doing the imitating.

Our adolescence is the most crucial time in our lives. We discover what we like and don’t like, characteristics in people that we can handle and not handle, issues that we agree with and not agree with. As young adults, it becomes much more easier to get swayed in many directions, especially when we are befriending other curious thinkers who are contemplating their stance in the world. Eventually, we need to make a decision. Otherwise we will be flip flopping all our lives and never move forward in our individual paths.

Here’s the trick that we all must learn. We must first learn how to separate our intuition from our intellect. In other words, our intuition is the first feeling that we get. Oprah calls it the “gut feeling” moment. This is usually the right way to go, but before we even have time to relish in it, we shoot it directly into our brains, or intellect. Soon we are rationalizing it, picking it a part little by little and eventually over-thinking all the details. We get completely confused at which way to go, and then it becomes a problem. Over time we often forget where we stood with the issue and it soon develops into an emotional battle.

Not that there is anything wrong with rationalizing. In fact, rationalizing is one of the greatest things we can have as adults. The habit, however, is not to depend on it. Not everything needs as much rationalizing as you think. Sometimes, our intuition is the only tool we have towards being happy. When we go against our core feelings, obviously the contentment with our decisions starts to combat each other.

This is a huge dilemma in the gay community. Most gay men know that they’re gay at an early age, and eventually our intuitive knowledge is met with the world’s intellectual reasoning of what’s moral and immoral. As we begin to grow, it infects our understanding of who we are. The battle scars are still there when we are adults in most cases. Take this journey of self discovery towards other phases in your life – grow from it.

The more you listen to your intuition, the further you will be in living your authenticity. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. At least acknowledge the fact that you felt something. Learn to say no! Saying yes all the time will only get you in the habit of ignoring your opinions on things. Know what you stand for and be true to that. Don’t change your tastes, because you feel these things for a reason.

There’s nothing wrong with trying new things, but pretending to believe in something or faking your liking to something, just to please others, is going to affect your happiness.

Your authenticity is the only thing you have in this world that separates you from the cattle. How many times have you seen someone walk through the doors and instantly, you are captivated by their confidence? Seeing someone who is totally themselves naturally invites the world to see it. Most people ache to have that quality and to see it in another, is inspiring to them.

The only way you will find yourself is if you start listening to yourself. Don’t ignore your truth, flourish it and make it ripen. Your life will be much more plentiful because of it.

SOURCE

The 16 Reasons You Need To Drop Everything And Travel Right Now

There’s a characteristic of our generation that can only be described as severe restlessness. I am not specifically referring to the number of friends you have who are prescribed Adderall; although that’s definitely another cultural trend I could discuss in length. What I’m talking about is a restlessness of the soul, the wandering spirit, a culture of nomads.

We’ve been bred on this notion that we are going to do it differently than our parents; we’ll be adventurous, experience life to the fullest. We’ve sat over lunch with our friends choosing our post-graduation plans, always teetering over the line of what we knew as the safe choice and what we knew as the adventurous, spirited one. We talked about living in Brazil in a house by the beach, spending days on the hammock and driving taxis at night.

We thought about moving to London, buying expensive rain gear and renting a studio on Piccadilly Circus. Of course every woman dreams of giving it all up and finding a cozy flat with a view of the Champs-Élysées, spending weekends sitting in corner cafes and eating macarons by Place de la Concorde. But reality always sets in and ruins the daydream.

Many of us have chosen the road more traveled, giving into the societal pressures of securing a job and a 401k. We’ve resigned ourselves to desks with a window seat, looking out on the cold streets of our increasingly disillusioned present. Sometimes, in between deadlines and Facebook stalkings, we find ourselves thinking about that corner bistro in Paris or the cozy hammock in Brazil. We let our minds wander to the wet streets of London and the architectural beauty of Prague. Then we begin to wonder, “What the hell am I still doing here?”

Whether you have this realization once a month, once a week or even once a day, it’s one too many. Your life is fleeting, and your youth will pass even quicker. You are too young to be settling for the nine-to-five, and there should be nothing holding you back from doing what your innermost urges tell you. So stop whining to all your friends and be the adult you claim to be; buy yourself the next ticket to anywhere.

You’re young
Life moves fast and there is no better time to pursue those inner urges than in your 20s. This is the freest you will ever be, unshackled by the chains of mortgages, insurance policies and general responsibility. You are responsible to no one but yourself and your own whims. Now is the time to stay up until 5 am as the waves of the Moroccan beach spray your tanned, toned body. Now is the time to eat whale testicle at a local dock in Seoul. Now is the time to fall in love with everything and anything.

You’re more willing to take risks
With less to lose, there’s more to gain. Life is about moving outside your comfort zones, about embracing the present moment, even if it scares the sh*t out of you. Right now is the time for you to meet Spanish strangers at a café and let them whisk you off to a party in the Latina quarter of Madrid. Only now will you rent a moped in Thailand for five dollars with absolutely no idea where to go. It’s these years that you’re supposed to make mistakes, get into trouble and learn to live life as openly as possible.

To be inspired
There’s a reason that some of the most influential and greatest artists of American literature spent their most creative years in Europe. There’s nothing more inspiring or life-changing than being engulfed in the beauty and culture of another world, another life. The colors, the smells, the people, the architecture, the squares of another city are enough to renew your soul and ignite your inhibitions. Besides, how else are you supposed to write your novels?

To humble yourself
It’s a valuable life lesson to live as the exile, the foreigner. In no other time or point in your life will you feel the cutting chill of being the outsider as you will living in a country that isn’t your own. You’re the new guy, the tourist no one takes seriously, and that will not only humble you, but give you a sense of empathy you never had before. It’s this grounding that will make you a better person, a more well-rounded person who will come home with a larger sense of what it means to be alive.

For the stories
A wise person once told me that life is a collection of experiences. Your life, and the legacy you leave, will be as full or as empty as you make it. Don’t you want to be one of those older people with countless stories of their youth spent traveling through the Arabian desert or hitchhiking from France to Spain? Don’t you want to tell your friends about the six months you spent living with a Spaniard, sipping sangria and learning to salsa dance?

For the friends who will play ambassadors
The people you meet abroad will play foreign ambassadors for the rest of your life. You will find yourself developing relationships in obscure corners of the world, conversing with people with different ideals, languages and cultures. You will find yourself with connections all over the world, coming back home only to know you now have friends all over the world. Next time you go to Sweden or Australia, you’ll not only have a place to stay, but a friend to show you the real parts of that country.

For the romance
If you’re in a sexual rut, there’s no better reason to pack up and head for somewhere new. Only in Europe can you play out your wildest fantasies of moonlit dinners at bistro cafés by candlelight. Only in South America can you go dancing with a man who whispers sweet nothings in your ear in a language you only understand through the longing of his words. Only somewhere else can you be whoever you want and let your inhibitions fall to the wayside. Shack up with an Italian for a few weeks and let yourself enjoy the idea that it doesn’t matter what, or who, you do while you’re “just visiting.”

For the food
Is there any better reason to travel than for the food? Seriously, how many days are you going to settle for Chipotle before you realize you could get four Spanish burritos that actually taste like “the original”? Don’t you want to try a real croissant? Who knows, maybe you’ll learn how to make paella or find some Italian cookies you’ll have imported to the US for the rest of your life. (Then you’ll be able to tell people you found the most delicious cookies in Sicily, and now you just have to get them shipped.)

To find yourself
There’s no better way to find yourself than to disappear from the daily grind and get lost somewhere along the Atlantic. Only once you remove yourself from the familiar can you find the truth. Only when you are abroad can you see your past life, your home, with a renewed sense of clarity. Going abroad gives you the time, space and moments of solitude you need for self evaluation and exploration.

Because once is never enough
Even if you went abroad in college, or spent two weeks in Europe after graduation, those memories will never be enough to satiate the longing in your soul. There is only so much you can take in, so many things you can do when you’re with your family on vacation or gaggle of friends. You need to see everything, do everything, again. It’s time to do it the right way, on your own. Because it could take a lifetime to be truly fulfilled by everything the world has to offer and those few times you went abroad should only make you thirsty for more.

For the perspective
A change of perspective is like taking a long deep breath after a long day. It’s important to change things up in life, to look at things from another angle, another way. Only going abroad will give you the distance you need to see your life from a renewed lens. Seeing another way of life is a great way to learn to appreciate your old one. Spending six months trying to communicate in another language will teach you to appreciate your own language and the capacity of those words. Because it’s not until you’ve begun missing home that you truly start appreciating it.

For your soul
Hemingway described Paris as a “moveable feast” and “wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you.” The notorious writer set the standard for embracing life abroad, letting it become part of you. Because even when you go home, part of you will forever be changed by the experiences and renewed sense of self that comes with leaving everything behind and starting anew.

To gain strength
Strength comes from overcoming fears, inhibitions and facing situations that aren’t always within your comfort zone. Only once you’ve left the familiar can you begin to challenge yourself. They say that the strongest people are the ones who faced adversity head on and came out the other end. Only once you’ve been in a situation where you had to dig deep down and find a strength you didn’t know you had can you call yourself a stronger person.

To be an explorer
Why can’t you be the one who sets the trends, the one with the unique style who always has those one-of-a-kind pieces? Why can’t you find that pair of lambskin boots in the mountains of Switzerland from a local farmer’s wife or that spice that’s only grown in the farms of south east Asia. Life is about tasting, trying and finding new things, new experiences and new lessons.

To fall in love
Life is about falling in love with everything. It’s about finding a sense of comfort in a local café or that overwhelming sense of comfort that comes with connecting with a painting at the Prado. It’s about seeing and loving everything as if it’s the first and last time. Only when you’ve left and sought the comforts of another place can you experience the overwhelming joy of falling in love with everything around you for the first time.

To appreciate the moments
Only when you’ve sat at a café in Paris for two hours, watching the people and reading your favorite book that you learn to appreciate the small moments in life. It’s the rolling mountains and the busy outdoor markets of Barcelona that should take your breath away. It’s the miles of rice patties beneath the soft glow of the setting sun that should assuage the aching in your restless soul and introduce you to the simple pleasures that life can bring. Only when you’ve learned to live in the moment, seeing and taking in every second of the now, can you truly say you’ve lived life to the fullest.

http://elitedaily.com/life/need-pick-everything-travel-right-now/ 

‘The Devil Wears Prada,’ A Boss, Not A B*tch: Why Women In the Workplace Get A Bad Rep

WOMEN • LAURA ARGINTAR • JAN 7, 12:30PM

You’ve undoubtedly heard of her, even if you’ve never met her. Her reputation precedes her, so much so that people can actually feel her icy presence before she’s entered the room. Miranda Priestly is the ultimate lady boss and you can bet she’s definitely wearing Prada; it’s the “devil” part we’re not so sure about.

The movie may only be loosely based on fact, but its central theme of women in power is a very real one in our contemporary workplace. Female bosses, in particular, are considered to be less likeable on many accounts, and not just by the males. According to a recent November 2013 Gallup poll, 35 percent of Americans prefer a male manager, as compared to 23 percent who prefer a female. Why is there a significant difference in gender preference?

Women in the office get a tough rep, especially those in managerial positions. If we’re too ambitious or goal-oriented, we’re perceived as demanding or aggressive. But if we sit back and let someone else take the lead, we’re not “leaning in” sufficiently.

In “The Devil Wears Prada,” Miranda Priestly is portrayed as cruel, cutthroat and mercurial, but despite those negative attributes, she also happens to be a great employer. Priestly successfully spearheads the premier women’s magazine portrayed in the film, manages an entire staff and is completely dedicated to her job. Though her methods may be unconventional and, yes, at times brusque, you cannot argue that Priestly consistently delivers as an invaluable Editor-in-Chief.

It’s worth noting that there are few female mentors for women in high-power positions. For this reason, there is a small pool of qualified role models for the influx of women executives in the workplace. For lady bosses, it’s lonely at the top.

Due to the lack of females in upper-level roles, it’s also easier for us to make casual assertions about their managerial styles. We say things like, “She seems like such a bitch to work for,” despite never meeting this woman; whereas, someone like Ari Gold from “Entourage” is revered and hallowed for holding his employees to impossible standards. There are simply more men in his identical position behaving the same way, which builds Ari Gold’s credibility.

We can’t help but wonder, if Miranda Priestly were a dude, would she get as much backlash for being so assertive? With the appropriate soundtrack and character foils, yes, she does come across as menacing and even evil at times; however, if we strip away all those (heaven forbid!) poly-blend layers, upon further inspection, it appears that Ms. Priestly is actually the perfect boss, even when gender isn’t a factor.

She might be tough, but when you’re the face of almost a billion-dollar company, you can’t be soft. We can all learn something about leadership from a woman who was so powerful that she transcended fiction.

Here’s why Miranda Priestly is a lady boss and not a lady bitch.

1. She holds high standards and pushes her employees to meet them
Miranda is only as strong as her supporting team is, which is why she expects so much from her employees. Someone in that high of a position needs a staff that can handle important requests and is prepared to work to their full potential. Miranda herself is not a slacker and only demands from her employees what she expects from herself.

Requiring her employees to dress well, for example, is a fitting policy for a high-fashion company that has to uphold a certain image. When she asks why no one is ready before a fitting, like any respective boss, Miranda expects everyone to be prepared for work. You can’t half-ass an important presentation, and Priestly wouldn’t dream of showing up unprepared.

Conversely, when her staff comes up with compelling ideas, she does give them praise. After Nigel says, “Zac Posen’s doing some very sculptural suits. So I suggested that Testino shoot them at the Noguchi Garden,” Miranda rewards him with a rare compliment: “Perfect. Thank God somebody came to work today.”

2. She’s direct about what she needs done
Andy Sachs may not always be able to interpret what her boss wants (like those 10 or 15 skirts from Calvin Klein: “Please bore someone else with your questions.”), but at least Miranda is straightforward in her requests. She doesn’t waste time (“By all means, move at a glacial pace, you know how this thrills me!”) and especially in the fashion industry, where everything needs to be completed immediately, she instills the appropriate sense of urgency.

More importantly though, Miranda Priestly never hides the fact that she’s a tough boss. She is always upfront to the applicants about her expectations and what the job entails. Andy might not have been ready for the assistant position, but she was certainly warned about what to expect.

Perhaps Priestly’s authoritative style was better suited for someone with greater discipline and ambition, like Emily.

3. She’s earned her respect and reputation
Miranda can get away with being a strict boss because she’s earned her title. She understands that success in the fashion industry relies heavily on her shoulders and she takes that responsibility seriously.

The scope of her power is best captured in her exact words: “However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room from a pile of stuff.”

Miranda Priestly dictates what clothes people are wearing every day, which bestows her with immense influence. She’s entitled to school Andy on hierarchy when her assistant steps out of line, just as the infamous Jordan Belfort does to his subordinates in “Wolf of Wall Street.”

Priestly clearly knows what is best for the fashion world. Since her opinion is “the only one that matters,” if she turns up her nose at a designer’s fashion collection (a la James Hoult), it behooves the designer to change his or her collection. This doesn’t make Miranda a condescending grouse; it makes her a discerning leader, who is doing her job and maintaining quality standards. Really, the designers should thank Miranda for saving them from bad press.

4. Miranda acts as a mentor
Although Andy doesn’t see it at first, Miranda is invested in her assistant’s growth at Runway magazine. Because she sees a lot of herself in Andy, Miranda is attune to her growth and wants her to work to her fullest potential. This might mean she’s tough on Andy, but Miranda is only trying to groom her for a higher position with greater responsibility. Even after Andy proves to be her mentor’s “biggest disappointment,” Priestly still personally recommends her for a new job.

5. She separates her personal and work life
Despite being in the public eye, Miranda does a solid job of keeping her personal life and work life separate. She doesn’t allow her divorce to shake up her routine or ruin her trip to Paris. Instead, she remains focused on the task-at-hand and effectively delegates dealings with the press to her public relations team.

In the same way, Miranda makes her work a priority when she flies down to Florida; although she has to miss her twins’ recital, she did try her best to make it there! Priestly understands that to be successful, you have to be driven and remain loyal to your job.

Photo credit: The Devil Wears Prada
SOURCE

10 Myths About Drag Queens

I've already told you what I've learned from being married to drag queen, so I thought I would continue along those lines and debunk 10 myths about drag queens. Some of these are myths I myself believed before Jeff created Vivian, and others are myths I learned existed only after getting involved in the drag community.

1. All drag queens are gay.

It's true that the majority of drag queens are gay, but there is a small minority of queens who are straight. I honestly did not know this until I watched some of the audition tapes for last season of RuPaul's Drag Race. One of the contestants stated that even though he performs in drag, he is 100-percent straight. I was shocked to learn this, but it makes sense, because drag is an art form, not a way of life.

2. Drag queens want to be women.

OK, sadly, this is one of the myths I believed before I knew any better. Before I met Vivian and other drag queens, I believed that anyone who does drag wants to be a woman, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Though it is true that some drag gueens are transgender women, the majority of drag queens take part in the art form because they love it and because it offers them a creative outlet.

3. Drag queens only do drag for the money.

This one is so false that it is not even funny. Yes, some drag queens make a living from drag, but trust me when I tell you that the majority of drag queens I know have full-time jobs and spend more money than they make from drag. For most, drag is an extremely expensive hobby that they enjoy doing. Very few drag queens are lucky enough to make a living at it.

4. A drag queen is less of a man.

This is another myth that I believed before I met Vivian. I felt that drag queens aren't "real men." Unfortunately, for the first few years after coming out, I was young and extremely naïve, but once I started meeting drag queens and interacting with them out of drag, I realized how wrong I was. Now I believe that all of them are more of a man than I am, because they have the courage to do what they do. It takes an extremely confident man to put himself out there for others to judge and sometimes ridicule.

5. All drag queens are tops.

OK, I'm hoping everyone reading this knows what I mean by "top," so I'm not going to explain. Anyway, I never knew about this myth until after getting involved in the drag community, and it definitely is not true. I know several drag queens who are not tops. That's all I'm going to say on this topic!

6. Anyone can be a drag queen.

This myth kind of goes hand-in-hand with myth #4, because performing in drag is not easy, and not anyone can do it. You have to have that "it" factor. If you are going to be a drag queen, you need to be able to capture the audience's attention and keep them entertained. You also need to have a large heart and be willing to work for nothing to raise money for charities and help the community. Not everyone can do that.

7. Drag queens never use their "boy names."

Some will tell you that you should never use a drag queen's "boy name," and that is partially true, but it really depends on the queen and the situation. If he is in drag, then yes, you should use his drag name, especially if you don't know him well. I call Vivian "Jeff" sometimes when he is in drag, but I am his husband. I call all other queens by their drag names when they are in drag. I use their boy names only when they are in street clothes, and I will admit that even then I sometimes use their drag names. Whether you should use the person's boy name really depends on the situation and your relationship with him.

8. Wearing a dress makes you a drag queen.

This one couldn't be further from the truth, and I know this from personal experience. I have done drag for local charity events, and trust me: Even in drag, I am not a drag queen. I act and walk like a man even when wearing heels. You really need to be able to create a character to be a drag queen, and not everyone can accomplish that.

9. All drag queens are bitchy.

I won't say that there aren't some drag queens who can be extremely bitchy, but let's stop and look at it from their perspective. They are wearing multiple pairs of tights and heels that were not made for their foot shape; some are corseted, and some have their manhood tucked behind them. I think I would be a little on the bitchy side too. Add to that the fact that some people feel that they have the right to judge them and demand things from them. Being a drag queen is not easy and can cause some to be bitchy, but in reality, the majority of them are the nicest people. Most of them would give someone the shirt off their backs.

10. All drag queens shave.

Yes, the majority of drag queens shave their facial hair, but there is a form of drag that doesn't require shaving, and it's called "bear" or "skag" drag. In this form of drag, the queens keep their facial hair and apply makeup around it. There are also some drag queens who will shave their facial hair but not their arm or leg hair. It's all a matter of how the queen wants to present her art form.

There you have it: ten myths about drag queens, debunked! Remember, drag may not be for everyone, but these performers deserve your respect. What they do is truly an art form.

To read more, visit The Diary of a Drag Queen's Husband.
SOURCE